Burning Cities by Kai Aareleid
Author:Kai Aareleid
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Peter Owen Publishers
Published: 2016-01-15T00:00:00+00:00
PATH TO RECONCILIATION
1959
Mum leaves in early autumn, taking a few suitcases and a trunk, almost soundlessly and invisibly. One day when Tiina comes home from school the bedroom wardrobe is a little emptier, a couple of decorative tea towels have been replaced with others and one half of the dressing-table has been cleared. Visibly, surprisingly little has changed â even the scent still lingers, but the person herself is no longer present. Lying on the desk is a note written in Mumâs calligraphy, inviting Tiina to dine at her new home that same evening.
And Tiina goes. What else would she do?
Mumâs new home is in an apartment building called the Water Tower. Tiina buys flowers from a shop â bright yellow chrysanthemums. She knows Mum is crying when she goes to the kitchen to put them in a vase. Liisi is gone for quite a while, and when she returns Tiina notices the reddish corners of her eyes and feels the long gazes that drift over her.
Still, it is a cheerful dinner. Kalju makes jokes; Mum appears to be happy. Tiina strives to recall when she last saw her mother in such high spirits and determines it had to be long in the past, so long ago that she can barely remember.
When they say their soft goodbyes in the dim hall, Mum strokes Tiinaâs cheek. The motion is somehow awkward, and she repeats in a muddled murmur, âBe a good girl, then, OK? Be a good girl.â
To keep the situation from turning embarrassing, Tiina takes her mother firmly by the shoulders (she, the daughter, taking her motherâs shoulders, as if the latter were a child in need of consolation) and says, âIâll come back soon. You two keep well.â
âYou can always come, always.â
âGoodnight, Mum.â
Descending the steps and emerging into the dusky car-park, Tiina marvels at how she never noticed when it was that she grew to her motherâs height. She used to wait expectantly for the day, and now it had simply happened.
The waning moon and a spattering of lights are reflected on the surface of the pond â maybe from the higher windows of the apartment building, maybe from the window of Mumâs new home. But maybe Mumâs window is dark and sheâs looking down right now, watching her grown daughter go, and so Tiina lifts her arm and waves. She stands there and suspends her arm above her head for a long time, watching the way her puffs of breath dissipate in the cool September night. Itâs already chilly; autumn is already here, Tiina thinks. A different kind of autumn. Itâs only when her hand starts getting cold that she turns around, shoves it in her pocket and hurries home.
Paths to reconciliation are strange.
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